When we listen to others speak what we will hear is their story. This story might be full of joy, it might be full of doom and gloom, it might be funny, or scary, it might be anything at all, but it is still a story. To fully hear what the other person is saying we must listen behind the story. Why is this story being told, what is the message behind the story, what is the other person trying to bring to our exchange? Are they trying to sway us to react in a certain way? Are they trying to make a connection with us? Are they trying to push us away? Often the other person is unaware they are trying to get us to do anything, yet they are!
This is not to say people are innately Machiavellian, there does not have to be some sinister intent behind any story, but if we listen, truly listen we will hear what the true message behind the words are. Sometimes we hear the other person asking for our approval or friendship by telling a story a certain way; sometimes we will hear pain and anger in the story.
When we only listen to the words, we miss so much of the communications which are shared verbally.
And, please be aware of how YOU are listening, that will flavor how the story is heard, what message you pick up just as much as what story is being told.
Now we have come to the Involved Observer portion of our program. Learn to separate your emotions from your listening and a whole new world of truth emerges. Read It’s All About Me, the Involved Observer and discover how to truly be present for others in your life, and own your own part of the process.