The gift

There you are, handing over a gift to someone.  This gift has been carefully selected, thought about and given with love.  Then the receipient turns around and gives it to someone else or simply sets it aside.  You are devistated, or maybe even angry.  “How can they do that?” you ask.

They can do that because once the gift is given, it belongs to the other person, it no longer belongs to you. 

What is important to remember about gifts is that it is in the giving that the true gift exists.  We cannot demand someone like what we have given, we cannot demand they cherish what we have selected.  All giving must be done in the spirit of showing affection for the other person.  We get our part of the gift as we go through the process of selection.  We are recognizing that this person has importance in our lives, we get our joy in thinking about the other person.  Once we hand over that gift, we want to release any expectation about their feelings about the gift, about where that gift will be in the receipients life, or what will happen after the receipient takes it home.  Only then is it a true gift. If we have expectations about what will happen with the gift, it is no longer a gift, it is more like handing over an obligation.

Next time you gift anything, ask yourself if you are truly giving, or are you demanding something in return.

The Involved Observer