The beautiful word “No”

If you are the type of person who tends to want to please other people, as I am, that beautiful word “no” comes hard to you.  I have said yes many times when it would mean giving up my playtime, when it means working later than I would otherwise like to work.  I have said yes rather than no even if it means I do not make the money to which I might otherwise be entitled.  

The immediate response to this yes rather than no is that we think we have to do something or someone will think less of us.  We are blaming others for our choices, even in this benign way.  Isn’t that interesting?  

There is another thing I have found in saying yes when no would have been the better reply; I actually have more problems with the job when it is done if I do not give myself full value for my work.  When I charge full price for all the work I do, I seldom get called back to re-do something.  There is an energetic message being sent when I charge less than my rate, and that message is that I do not think I am worth what I charge. Even without saying it out loud the client hears me say “I am not worth what I charge.”  If you put in extra hours at the office without compensation we are saying the same thing.  We devalue ourselves.  It is not our bosses who devalue us, it is ourselves, and since it is ourselves who are doing this, we can correct the situation.

People pleasers around the world; join with me and say NO when it is the right thing to do.  If you do not value yourself, who will?

The Involved Observer