No, this is not about enjoying a brew on the beach on Maui (although that sounds great.) What I want to discuss is those people in our lives who live through being emotional vampires. I think you know the person I am speaking about; they call at all hours demanding you listen to their angst, which you are happy to do, but they never seem to change what they are doing, every call is about the same angst. These folks, bless their hearts, don’t really want to change what they are doing; all they want to do is suck you into the drama of their lives. They will continue to feed their own angst because they know when they need a “lift” they can pick up the phone and suck up your personal power and they will feel better.
How can we be loving people, how can we be supportive friends if we decide to stop dancing this dance of destruction? We can be supportive friends and loving people only if we do stop this dance. We are not really supporting this person by giving them our power, we are actually helping to hold them in pain and angst by playing along with their stories. Does this seem harsh and cold? Then let me ask you, isn’t supporting another person in their angst the same as encouraging someone with a drinking problem to have another shot to feel better?
The dance of personal relationships is indeed an intricate dance; some of the steps are based upon the needs of others, some of the steps are based upon our own needs. the key is to be aware of our own motivations, to remain in the most healthful mental state for ourselves as we can. Become the Involved Observer in your life; begin by reading It’s All About Me and see where it leads you!
