Sure, what else are you going to expect from a guy who titles his book It’s All About Me?- but let me ask you this; do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to stop being a victim of life? Do you love yourself enough to do healthful things in your life? Do you love yourself enough to recognize self-destructive tendencies in your life and take steps to do things which are more life affirming?
I recently experienced a huge emotional event. My first step was to take myself to the beach and have a serious talk with myself about my part in the experience; where could I change what my default actions had been to make future relationships more loving? Was I blaming this other, wonderful person, for fallout from my own actions? The questions went on and on, and the process took almost a week. During this time I kept trying to say “I love you” to myself, but the words and thought could not find traction in my own heart. That was the worst part, realizing I did not love myself because of this experience. What I learned was that the experience was just a wake-up call to make some changes in my own life. Once I got to that understanding I found I was left with only one important question; did I love myself enough to change what I had be doing, not for the sake of this other person, but for my own sake?
We can not be present in love for another person if we can not be present in love for ourselves. If we attempt to experience love based upon what other people are doing for or to us, we are setting ourselves up for more hurt. To find we love ourselves for who we are, as imperfect as we may be, is to be set ourselves up for truly healthful relationships.