I have too often found myself listening to another person tell me about something that is happening in their lives or a problem they are experiencing, then wanting to jump right in and “fix” whatever it is. Do you identify with this tendency?
I have been told this desire to “fix things” is a male trait, yet I find it to be very active in many women I know as well. On the surface this is not a bad tendency in and of itself, and it is very often based on a heartfelt desire to ease someones burden, but it can actually be destructive to a relationship. As difficult as it may be to believe, I too have been guilty of this habit. Fortunately for me when this issue arose I was with a very loving, caring person who pointed out what I was doing and I was given the opportunity to reevaluate my own process. Thank you.
Just because we have the more “important” title or position, the act of listening, hearing and refraining from offering a solution as our response actually requires more insightfulness than “fixing” what is going on. The act of listening and not judging is an act of compassion, an act of love.
Now, after saying this, a word of caution; some people will attempt to entrap us in their drama as they relate this complaint or that feeling. The difference between being a good listener and a hostage in someone else’s drama can be a thin line, so listen to your own guidance as to where you are leading yourself. We can be a good listener without becoming a part of the problem. That too is an act of love and compassion.
