Being lovable

How do you feel about being lovable?  Is it something you would rather not discuss about yourself because you fear being seen as self-centered?  Is this something you have even thought about?  Perhaps you gave up on the task a long time ago?

Am I lovable?

Not only are you lovable, you are loved.  Many of us equate lovable with valuable.  The most valuable person on a professional team is not necessarily lovable.  They may be brash, acerbic, self-centered, an all around pain in the patootie, but being loved is not one of the things they are.  

Learning to give love is something many of us are pretty good about.  At least some form of love.  The truth is, we cannot love anyone else to a greater degree than we love ourselves.  This is where the issue of being lovable comes in.  If we don’t believe ourselves to be valuable, we may compensate by seeming to shower love on others.  The lucky recipients of this attention think of us as having an open heart, but it is only an appearance until we recognize love within ourselves.  Let’s go back to the beginning of this section; YOU ARE LOVED.  Our work is to recognize the presence of love in our own lives.  

How do I do that?

First, we have to disengage ourselves from the idea that loving ourselves means we are selfish in a bad way.  Begin by imagining a person you would do anything for.  This person could be the same gender as you, or not.  Now picture that person.  Would you look at them and say “You are so stupid!”  Would you say to that person “Can’t you do anything right?”  Yet so often that is what we say to ourselves when we don’t do something right.  We bash ourselves.  Is it any wonder that the next step is to think of ourselves as unloveable?  No one else nurtures that thought, we do it all by ourselves.

There is so much more to say on this topic, but I don’t want to keep you from your busy day.  May I recommend reading my book It’s All About Me?  There are some great thoughts about setting your priorities in this read.  Click on the cover below to begin, then get your own copy.

The Involved Observer