It’s not you, it’s me

This line has been used so often it is now considered a joke, but if you have been following my blogs you know there is great truth in this statement.

When we reach the point in any relationship, be a work relationship, a personal relationship, or a family relationship, when the existing balance no longer serves us, we must take a stand and say, no more! The truth is this point has nothing to do with the other person at all, it all comes back to ourselves.  I urge you to own this decision.  Recognize this decision.  Stand firm in your own power.  The moment we begin telling ourselves, or the other person, that they are responsible in any way for our own feelings, we are out of integrity.  

We have all experienced mountains of challenges from relationships and kept moving forward in the same dynamic, because it served us to keep on doing the same thing.  We may have told ourselves we had no choice to continue doing the same thing because of this or that, but the truth is, we keep on doing the same thing because, and only because, it is we who do not want it to change.  We use lots of excuses and reasons, but that is all they are, excuses and reasons.  When we get to the point where we want to change, we change.

I have mentioned before that this does not have to make the other person, the other relationship wrong.  By stepping up and honoring our own responsibility for change; when we do not wait for a conflict to give us permission to change, we honor ourselves and the other person as well. 

Stand in your own power, remember, it’s not you, it’s me!

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