Yes, I know your lips are moving, and I hear sound coming from your mouth, but I do not hear you because you are speaking Butterfly and I am listening as Bear, or you are speaking Bear and I am listening as Butterfly.
Does this situation sound familiar? There is no “war of the sexes,” but there is a tremendous amount of miscommunication between people simply because they have not developed to tools to hear what others are saying. We insist upon hearing things said the way we want them phrased, we insist upon overlaying our own thought patterns on what other people are saying, and when we do this we cut our lines of communication.
In my latest book Bear and Butterfly we explore how this lack of communication can be overcome, not by insisting others change their communication style, but by inviting ourselves to develop more beneficial ways of listening.
Bear communication is straight forward, minimalistic and unadorned. Butterfly communication is packed with detail, innuendo, and information between the lines. Both methods have their own power and both methods have their drawbacks. We can, however, learn to use both methods to improve our lives. Can you see how this tool would save countless marriages? Can you envision how being able to shift listening gears would make us more effective in business?
Why we choose to communicate as we do has its roots in our very DNA, it is hardwired so to speak. When we learn why, we can find ways to open whole new vistas of possibility. When we learn to look within ourselves, to accept who we are, we free ourselves of the tyranny of being placed in a box.
Read Bear and Butterfly, THE Relationship Handbook and discover for yourself a whole new range of skills. Available at Amazon books.
