There are many species of trees and plants which drop seeds that cannot begin new growth without an intensive fire to open them and allow them to grow. It is easy to look at forest fires and range fires as being needlessly destructive, until we recognize the positive effects of fire.
The same is true of our own experiences. We often believe that a relationship change, a job change, or even the loss of a loved one to be needlessly destructive and without benefit, until we recognize that it is often some major event in our lives that opens us up to new growth. We get very comfortable in known situations and often remain locked in something that is less than we are capable of doing until a purifying fire rocks our lives. As painful as these experiences can be it is sometimes the only thing that will help us take the next step in our lives.
I just took notice that it has been twenty years since the passing of my parents. As painful as that experience was, I can look back now and see the positive changes in my life since that period in my life. Within six months I changed from thinking of myself as a child (even though I was well into my forties at the time) to realizing I was no longer a child but one of the senior members of my family. That was a purifying fire for me.
Being let go of jobs which did not challenge me to grow; purifying fires. Releasing relationships which were not supporting me; purifying fires. If we try to remain static in our lives the Universe will assist us along our path; first gently, then with increasingly dramatic events.
Should you find yourself in the position of feeling you have received a Cosmic kick in the pants, rather than bemoaning the experience, perhaps it would be best to find a way to bless the new opening.