When my beautiful Bride Terrie starts chattering at me about something on her mind I sometimes mentally run and hide because I know there will be about a zillion words coming my way, and I won’t know which ones to listen to. I also know that when my beautiful Bride Terrie asks me a question she has to be prepared to drag out of me the answer she needs because I will use as few words as possible to respond to her. I call this the Bear and Butterfly effect. Interestingly enough I even wrote a book about this very experience you might want to read if you want to overcome this problem.
There is nothing wrong in either communication style; each has its own power, and we all would do well to remember this truth. Back before the dawn of recorded time there were very good reasons for some of us to talk through our thoughts, and very good reasons for some of us to remain quiet. As advanced as we might think of ourselves today, we are still responding to those ancient imperatives. I present a hypothetical explanation of these reasons in the book Bear and Butterfly, THE Relationship Handbook. Before you begin to believe that only women chatter and men only remain silent you owe it to yourself to read Bear and Butterfly to learn what these reasons might have been and why they apply today.
Running for cover or bracing for an interrogation while speaking with your partner is certainly not the best path for a satisfying relationship, so how about finding another path? When we step back and realize how information is being presented to us, when we understand we have the choice to over or undersell our thoughts, we can build better lives together.
