Why can’t I get over this?

Pick any topic you like that has weighed on your mind for a long time.  It does not matter if it is the loss of a loved one, the loss of your favorite pair of shoes, or a snub at a party, just pick a topic.

Now I am going to get very real, and it might seem uncomfortable or callous at first, but live with this thought for a little while and you may actually find comfort and freedom beyond your initial impression: you (and I) can’t get over something because we choose not to get over it. There may be a feeling of dishonoring to get over someone we loose, it may feel comforting to have something to complain about.  Harsh?  Yes and no.  It seems to me it is much harsher on ourselves to keep flogging ourselves about the past, a past we cannot change no matter how many sleepless nights we may spend.  Sometimes the truth seems harsh, but truth which is delivered with the intent of helping someone move forward rather than keeping them in place is anything but harsh; it is another form of love.

I used to be associated with someone whose favorite phrase was “get over it!” This was not love, this was truly harsh.  When we approach the question of getting over it from the perspective of “how can I help you release this burden,” that is love in action.

There is a process in getting over something, and part of that process is to ask yourself “am I helping myself feel better by holding this thing, this idea?”  If the answer you hear in your heart is that you are making yourself feel worse, I ask you: “how can I help you release this burden?” 

Think Believe Receive                                 The Involved Observer