There you are, flying through life, things are going great, opportunities are opening left and right and suddenly we come to a grinding halt. We seem unable to move forward no matter what we do. What the heck is going on? Integration is going on.
Sometimes on our journey forward, we have to take a pause to let us catch up with ourselves. This is especially true when we make huge leaps forward in our lives; Getting married is a prime example of this process. We go through courtship, discover we truly have what it takes to make a life together, we change our living status, how we think of ourselves, and still life is bright and shiny, but all of a sudden we are at odds with our loved one. Did we make a mistake? Is this person really all wrong for us? Probably not, we are simply experiencing a catching-up period.
In some ways this is like cooking in a crockpot. All the right ingredients go in, everything is perfect until the cooking process begins. At a certain point in the cooking the ingredients actually seem to be fighting with each other, but when the cooking process is complete we have something so much better than the individual ingredients; we have a new thing entirely. Something so much better than the individual parts were.
It doesn’t matter if we are discussing marriage, a new job, a new residence, or any other major life change; integration is part of the whole process, just as important an aspect as any other. Be patient, remain in love, keep your eye on the goal and this period of discomfort will pass.
To get the tools which might help you through integration read It’s All About Me, the Involved Observer. I know the future is better than today.
