Building a relationship

You want to build a relationship.  Everything you do is about building a relationship with that special someone; the dating web sites, the mixers, you name it, but alas, nothing has happened yet.  I admit it, there are like a bizzillion suggestions out there on the topic of relationships.  In this one blog there is not enough room to even scratch the surface, but the one topic I would like to discuss is; do you have room in your life for another person?

Make room

When I say make room, I mean that literally.  A new person cannot find space in your life if your home is filled with stuff.  You don’t even have to be considering co-habitation for this to be true.  Look at your living room.  Is it filled with furniture, knick-knacks, photos and, well, just things?  What about your bedroom?  Is it crammed wall to wall, ceiling to floor with your stuff?  Now think about it, is there truly space in your life for another person?

Reflections of you

Perhaps the reason your house is full and your love life empty is that you have already filled your life.  This is a perfectly understandable thing to do– fill your living space when your heart is empty; that is compensation.  You may be compensating for the lack of love with an abundance of stuff.  In many ways it is like overeating; you are saying “If nobody wants me, I am going to fill myself.”  No matter how attractive another person may be.  Regardless of how attracted they are to you, your life is already filled and they will not be able to find a place.

Actions speak louder than passion

If you want another person to share your life, make room for them.  Look at your living space dispassionately and ask yourself; “Is there room here for someone else?”  No matter how often you insist you want another person in your life, until you create space for them, it will not happen.  It cannot happen.  I am not talking about six inches of empty space in your closet or an empty drawer, I am talking about actually having a place in your life for another person.

A way to start

My book Bear and Butterfly is a perfect way to  begin creating a real space for a real person to enter and be part of your own.  It contains a language reference for better communication, and ideas about opening yourself to that perfect relationship.  Begin by clicking on the cover below to read a sample, then get your own copy at