We are all products of our past, no matter how much we want to overcome our past, even our attempts to overcome our past defines us. Every experience we have ever had, even those we did not necessarily experience, but just heard about, are part of our beings today. This is something we cannot get past, but what we can get past is our reliance on our memories of the past and what that past means in our lives today.
When we recognize that our memories are the most flexible and untrustworthy of our skills, we can begin to live in a place where we control how we react or respond. I ask you to think about your first love; isn’t the most likely memory one of joy, happiness and giddiness? If we could but go back to the time of our first love we would more than likely discover we also had feelings of fear, sadness, doubt, longing, and anxiety, but those have been placed beyond our recall by our old friend memory.
If we are building our todays on what is, at best, flawed recollections, are we not building our todays on shifting sands? Is it any wonder we can be so unhappy at times as we think it is we who are to blame for our hopes and dreams not being fulfilled? We can cast aside those old blame games and simply realize that with a tiny shift of our thinking we can build on solid ground instead.
Here we are back to a choice of our words: rather than wishing for what we had, consider thinking about having what we remember we had. This leaves behind the anxiety, fear, doubt, sadness and longing, leaving us with the sanitized memory we cherish. Isn’t that what we really want to experience anyway?
