When I find myself listening to some else speak one of the things I have to remind myself not to do is to listen ahead. Not to shut out what is being said in favor of reaching my own conclusions before the other person is finished saying what they have to say.
In my book Bear and Butterfly you may discover you are doing just this too; listening ahead, because the person speaking is going through a long explanation about something you have already heard. This happens to “Bears” all the time when listening to “Butterflies.” Bears get bored hearing the same information constantly without realizing that some people simply need to walk through an explanation from start to finish no matter how many times this has already happened. Butterflies, on the other hand, find themselves looking for hidden meaning when they are listening to a Bear speak. For Bears there is no hidden meaning, Bears say what Bears have to say, nothing more.
Avoiding Listening Ahead is simply a matter of learning how to recognize others communication styles. We can avoid detrimental assumptions or “tune-out” by developing within ourselves our built-in ability to switch our thinking methods according the traits of the person with whom we are speaking. Within each Butterfly there is a Bear and within each Bear there is a Butterfly. We can learn so much from each other if we simply apply ourselves to learning, or re-learning this truth.
How can we learn from each other while our “monkey minds” are busy doing anything other than listening? Bear and Butterfly, THE Relationship Handbook might just be the key to deeper, clearer understandings of each other. Give it a read! You can purchase a copy or read it electronically from Amazon books.
