Control is a wonderful thing, most of the time. As we deepen into our Spiritual Selves we learn to control our former urges to say hurtful things, we learn to control our baser instincts, our tempers, and so many other things. We call this good.
On the flip side; if we attempt to control the actions or thoughts of another person we are heading for difficulty. Try as I might as a parent I could not control the actions of my children; they still did silly things I had cautioned them not to do. Try as I might I could not control the actions and thoughts of my partners in any relationship I have had.
To attempt to extend control outside our own beings is an exercise in futility because whatever we attempt to control then creates unanticipated reactions. If we, for instance, were to achieve control over the actions of another person then anything they did would be our responsibility. Not only would we be then responsible for correcting the results of even our own best intentions, we would be responsible for correcting the results of the actions of someone else too!
The Gospels remind us to remove the stone from our own eye before we attempt to remove the speck of sand from an others eye. When we decide to exert our control over another person we are in truth attempting to get them to do something we have not found the control to do in our own lives. What ticks us off most is seeing in others something we have tried unsuccessfully to correct in ourselves, or tendencies we fear we may have.
The greatest teachers of all times have taught ways to think, but they have refrained from telling us we must do anything. Freedom of choice is always ours, but our choice is not to be inflicted upon another.